Tears in Heaven
by Vita Brevis
Summary: Not all is well in heaven. HPSS. New chapter uploaded. This chapter: Sev comforts Harry. DISCONTINUED.
1. Default Chapter

**Disclaimer: All known characters belonged to JK Rowling. The others belong to me.**

**A/N: This is HP/SS fic. Rated R. Shoo if you hate it!**

**Thanks a lot to Pandora for her help to beta read this. **

**Tears in Heaven**

**Prologue**

It was cold. So cold. How could someone feel so cold in the middle of summer, right under the scorching sun? And yet coldness was invading the boy's fragile form, like virus relentlessly attacked the body cells until they changed into virus itself. Or until a medicine strengthened the body to fight the virus. But there was no medicine, no help. He was alone in a clearing in the middle of where he didn't know. Everyone around him was dead, killed by his very own hand. Not that it would change anything. None of them would help him anyway. It was better this way. It was better that he faced his last fate alone like he always faced the torments Life had thrown upon him alone.  

Death. Death came nearer, he knew. People said that you would feel cold when you were dying, and numbness. There had been unbearable pain. Pain caused by injury and his body's last attempt to prevent the fragile soul to escape its bodily cage. But now, he barely felt anything but cold. He had lost too much blood already and his consciousness was slipping away. 

Visions.  His short life passed before his closed eyes. Uncle Vernon spat on him in disgust, Dudley pushed him from the stairs, Aunt Petunia ignored his feverish body. His classmates laughed at his hand-me-down clothes. Dudley's friend pushed his head down the toilet in his school. The owl posts on his 11th birthday. The Sorting ceremony. His first friends; Ron and Hermione. The first time he caught the Snitch. Quirell. Voldemort. Tom Riddle. The Basilisk. Fawkes. Dementors. His parents's screams. Shrieking Shack incident. Ron's and his first fight. The Third Task. Cedric's death. The embodiment of the evil by his blood. Priori Incantatem. Hagrid's death. The green light from his wand which ended Pettigrew's life. Sirius's trial and release. His unexpected new found love. Remus' death. Sirius' death. His abysmal OWLs. His capture. His lover's death when he tried to free him from the monster's clutches, but failed. The countless crucios. The physical abuse: whips burned his skin , kicks bruised and broke his fragile body, manacles bound him to the cold wall, the knives cut down his flesh. The countless rapes that made Crucio feel like a mercy. The humiliations. His scream for mercy, for release, for help which was futile. Until his anger unleashed every power he had and banished everything around him in radius of some miles he didn't know, including Voldemort who had been laughing over his torture like a madman. 

It's funny that the most vivid of the visions were the worst. The ones he never wanted to experience again. But then again he didn't care.  He thought that he couldn't feel anything anymore. 

Tears began to flow. Crystal tears mixed with blood streamed down his battered face to the soil beneath. Tears caused by relief. Finally his responsibility had been fulfilled. He could go home to his parents's arms, to his lover's arms. There would be no more pain. No more sadness. His task in this world was over. 

With the realization, the Boy Who Lived succumbed to the cold. And died.

**Chapter 1: Arriving**

At a first glance, this place is but a clearing in Forbidden Forest no one else has ever found. But if you look closely, you'll see that this place is different. The plants are greener and lush. Sweet scents from the plants hand in the air while colorful butterflies fly around.  The sun  is shining gently, although it is supposed to be scorching in the middle of summer, with some occasional breezes. This place radiates peace and joy, very unlike the sense of creepiness that hangs in the atmosphere of  the Forbidden Forest.

That is because this is not Forbidden Forest. This place is what people call heaven, or paradise, or anything. This is the afterlife. 

Severus Snape has just arrived here, welcomed by the person he wished the least he would ever see again, Sirius Black. His loathing toward the dead Potion Master has seemed to vanish somewhere somehow. Had Snape forgotten that he was already dead, and thus it's unlikely for him to be sick or die, he would have had a fatal heart attack. 

"Where am I?"

Beaming, Sirius answers, "This is heaven, you twit."

Snape scowls before he retorts, "Listening to your ever after charming vocabulary and adding the fact that *you* are the first person I meet after I died, I assume I have landed in Hell instead."

Sirius laughs, not a mocking laugh, but a  sincere  and hearty laugh. Heaven *do* a marvelous job on him. "I am glad that some things never change. Come, Snape. I'll show you around."

His shock disappears fast and his antipathy towards Black has dissipated within minutes; the peaceful air of this place surely contributes much to his mood. His curiosity peaks, however, for he has never his expected his afterlife to be like this. Mind you, he had always thought that he would be sent into Hell, considering the deeds he had done when he was still a Death Eater, and combined with his not-so-angelic personality. Instead, he has landed in this place, heaven Black called it, wearing his usual black robes (isn't he supposed to wear white?) following his former nemesis who is wearing jeans and cotton shirt *without* a halo above his head. Thank Merlin, he thinks. I won't stand for it if spending eternity in heaven means I must wear white robes with a ludicrous halo above my head, a harp in my hand, standing on clouds and singing hymns for eternity. 

"I had the same  thoughts as you do when I arrived here, you know." 

"How do you know what I am thinking?"

Laughing, Sirius said, "It's pretty obvious judging by your expression. Besides, I know you too well."

"You do not."

"I do."

"You don't."

"I do."

"Still stubborn I see."

"As I said, some things don't change, Snape. Even in heaven. Now you must have questions."

"Indeed."

"So? Ask."

"Why I am here?"

"Because you're dead. I thought that was pretty obvious." Sirius smirks. 

"Yes, but why here? Why not hell or somewhere else?"

Sirius shrugs. "I don't know. I am not the judge here. Maybe you can ask James."

"James?"

"Yeah. He is kinda in charge of people living in his house."

"In charge? Living in his house?"

"Where else would you stay? You are new here. Don't worry, we can make a dungeon to suit your taste."

"Shut up."

Sirius chuckles and they continue their walk in silence until they reach the mentioned "house".

It is not a "house" actually. It is a *very* large Greek style mansion. It is beautiful, with ivies, lianas, and all sort of vines climbing on its wall. There are many large windows with beautiful plants on their balconies. The white paint reflects the sunshine, causing the mansion to glow divinely in the midst of green grass and trees that surround it. 

"Nice to meet you again, Severus." It is Lilly, Snape will never mistaken her sweet warm voice with anyone's, no matter how many years has passed since the last time he heard her voice. Smiling widely, she approaches her former classmate and hugs him fiercely.

"Now now, honey. You'll choke the poor guy to death once again. Let him go." 

Carefully untangling himself from the overly enthusiastic Lilly, Snape turns around and faces his former rescuer who is grinning happily, as if Snape is a grand prize or something. "James."

"Hello Severus. Welcome to Godric's Hollow."

Snape arcs an eyebrow at the mentioned name. "Your twisted sense of humor never ceases to amaze me, James." 

Potter senior laughs. Oh, he looks so much like Harry. His Harry. His heart wrenches as he remembers his failure to save his young lover.

"Harry." He whispers.

James, Sirius, and Lilly frown. 

"What's wrong, Severus? What's wrong with Harry?" James asks. 

"Nothing. He will be fine," Snape intends to say. But before he speaks it out loud, he feels a deep sense of foreboding about his young lover, causing him to run into the woods unthinking. 

"Harry! Harry is coming!" he shouts. 

**Chapter 2: The Boy Who Suffers.**

He arrives at the spot within seconds. He doesn't know if he can run that fast, but this is heaven; conventional rules are not applicable here. He doesn't have time to ponder about it, however, for what he sees breaks his heart. 

Harry is sitting on the ground, wearing his ordinary school robe. His arms are hugging his legs while he rocks himself back and forth. His eyes are dull without any sign of their usual vivacious sparks. He seems lost in his own world; he doesn't even notice Severus's arrival.

Snape kneels beside him and touches his knees gently. 

The boy looks at him, still with his empty eyes. He recognizes Severus though. "Professor Snape." He  smiles faintly.

"Harry, you all right?"

"I am fine." His voice rings the opposite. It is automatic, empty, like his dull green eyes.  Severus shivers. 

"Harry, do you know where we are?"

"Where, Professor?" He doesn't even notice that Snape has addressed him as Harry, not Potter. 

"We're in heaven." 

"Oh." Still no emotion. And now Harry is again lost in his own thought. His eyes are distant and he continues to rock back and forth. Oh dear God, what has happened to him? There is no scar in his body, not even on his forehead, so he must be all right. Besides, this is heaven for Merlin's sake! Snape is furious, though towards whom he doesn't know.

"Snape? Harry?" 

Snape turns and sees Black approaching them.

"Hi, Sirius." Harry calls to him.

"Harry. I've missed you." Sirius kneels beside Harry, on the opposite of Snape and hugs the boy. Who immediately flinches and whimpers.

"No. No. Please stop. Please stop. Please…"

Shocked, Sirius releases the boy. "Harry, are you all right? What's wrong? Harry?" 

Harry doesn't respond. He keeps crying and whimpering while curling himself as small as possible. 

"I am afraid he is still in shock, Sirius. His death must be a very traumatic experience." James suddenly appears. His voice sounds very grim.  

"What?? But this is heaven?" Severus is enraged and  confused at the same time. Enraged because his lover still feels pain even after his death, and  confused because Heaven is supposed to be a perfect place. Isn't it? 

"Contrary to popular belief, yes there is pain and sorrow in heaven, Severus." James answers his unspoken questions. "I'll answer your questions later. Please carry him to the house, Severus. Gently."

Snape nods and with utmost care lifts the still crying boy into his arms. Harry seems to relax a little and leans into his embrace though he is still crying. Not knowing what else to do, Snape coos him as gently as he can, remembering his childhood when his nanny coos him to sleep when he is lonely. 

They reach the house in a few minutes. James leads them to a big airy room with a four poster bed. Snape puts his burden down but never releases his embrace. It's not as if he can if he wants to. Harry has been clinging to him for dear life and whimpering now and then. 

"What's wrong with him, James?" Lilly has come into the room and sits besides Snape. She reaches out to touch Harry but the boy flinches away from her touch, saddening the mother greatly. 

"I am not so sure. I just know that though we are brought here physically healthy, there are always emotional scars that need to be healed. All of us have our own, but I've never seen someone react like Harry. I assume that whatever it is, Harry's death has been a terrible one." James' expression is grim. He hasn't seen his only son for 16 years, and now that Harry has come, he carries so much emotional pain. Snape can only imagine how much it hurts James to see Harry in such a state.

"What can we do?" Lily said. She looked like she could burst to tears any second. 

"I must go ask the Guardian first. Meanwhile Severus, you are the person he needs most right now. Please stay with him."

"What? How can he be the person Harry needs most?" Lilly asks. She is not angry, only bewildered.

"We all know that the foreboding when someone enters this realm is only given to the people who are the closest to the new person, Lilly."

"What? Does that means the person I am closest to is Black?" Snape whispers, so as not to startled Harry. But his tone makes it sounds like he has just shouted it out loud. 

James and Sirius snort, though their expressions are still grim. "No. It means that among us, you are the closest to Sirius, in any kind of relationship, including rivalry." James explains. 

"That means Harry is closer to Severus than to any of us? Including Sirius?" Lilly asks again, more bewildered than before.

"He is.  But let's talk about it later, shall we? I must go to the Guardian." 

James rises from his seat and exits the room. Severus lays the now sleeping Harry on the bed and follows suit. 

"Lilly, there is something I want to discuss with you." Sirius says. "Snape, you had better join us."

(tbc)


	2. Part 2

**Chapter 4**

Lilly and Snape sit on the sofa side by side, looking at Sirius with sheer curiosity, wondering of what Sirius will tell them about. 

"Lilly, Snape, don't be mad or something all right?" 

Lilly and Snape frown. "Mad about what?" Snape asks.

Sirius eyes him warily. "Well, for messing up with your life, maybe?"

"Messing up how? What are you talking about, Black?"  

Taking a deep breath, Sirius confesses, "Harry is in love with you, Snape. But I told him that you already have a lover."

Lilly almost faints. Snape's jaw suddenly drops open.  

"Sorry," Sirius mumbles, unable to meet his friends' eyes. "I really thought it was for the best, but then Harry fell into a kind of depression."

"How… how can he fall in love me?" Snape stutters.

"Well, I don't know. Maybe he saw you as a knight in shining armor or something. After all, you saved his life countless of times."

 "Indeed," Snape raises his eyebrows.  

"Look, we cannot lie to each other here, at least not in such a serious matter. Besides, how can you explain the fact that you felt his coming and not one of us?"

Lilly narrows her eyes. "And why did you think Severus would ruin Harry's life, Sirius?"

"Gosh, Lilly! Snape's forty and Harry's sixteen. Not to mention the truth that this man is, was, such a bastard. And he's a Death Eater." 

"Those are old excuses, Sirius." Lilly scolds her friend coldly.

"I admit I was wrong, okay? Now, we better think of something for Harry than quarrelling over our past."

Lilly glares at Sirius for a minute then nods. "Fine."

Sirius exhales. He turns to Snape and asks, "Do you know what happened to Harry, Snape?"

Snape takes a deep breath before answering, "He was captured by Death Eaters. I tried to save him, but they killed me first. I think he must have suffered some horrible things before they were done with him."

"Oh, God." Lilly covers her face with her hands.

Silence reigns. All of them are frightened by the images of Harry being tortured by the Death Eaters. Lilly starts to cry silently, Sirius wraps his arms around his friend, comforting her. Snape sits rigid on his couch, being the most frightened of them all since he knows what exactly Death Eaters can do to their victims. He fervently wishes that James will return soon, with good news from the so called Guardian. 

James indeed returns soon, and with him, Remus. (Surprise, surprise, Snape thinks) Their facial expressions are grim when they enter the living room. James occupies a place next to his wife while Remus sits on Sirius's armchair. Having taken a deep breath, James speaks, "Harry is suffering shell shock. He will recover, but he'll need someone to help him."

"Who?" asks Lilly with red eyes. She has let herself go from Sirius and now she is reclining to her husband, who immediately circles his arm around his wife. 

"I will," answers Remus. 

"Why you?" asks Sirius, curious. 

"The rest of you are too involved with Harry to be able to help him."

James nods in understanding. Lilly is resting her head on her husband's shoulder. "We failed Harry," she whispers.

No one speaks for some time, wallowing in self guilt for failing the boy they love so deeply. Snape wants to argue that no one is guilty in the room, that it is Voldemort who must be blamed for all the misfortune that has fallen upon Harry and the rest of them, but he changes his mind at the last minute, thinking that they already know the truth. "We better check on Harry," he says. The rest of them nod. 

Sirius leads the way to the chamber where they have left Harry to sleep earlier. They find the boy is still sleeping soundly. Remus sits beside the boy and caresses his hair. "He will be fine," he whispers, as not to awaken Harry. 

"Do you know what happened to him?" 

"Yes, Severus. I've been told about everything that has happened to him."    

"What? What have they done to him?" asks Lilly, who is almost  crying again. She is a strong woman, but seeing her only child in such condition is enough to break the heart of the strongest of woman.

"I don't think you need to know the details. Suffice to say that he'll need all our love and support." Remus shifts the pillow to make Harry more comfortable, but the gesture awakens the boy. Harry moans softly and opens his eyes. 

"Professor Lupin?" he asks, blinking a few times.

"Remus, Harry. I am not your teacher anymore," Remus smiles. 

Harry nods. He sits and looks around. He sees his father and mother looking at him with love and concern, just like what he saw in the Mirror of Erised years ago. He also sees Sirius, and Snape. He looks away quickly. 

"Where am I?" he asks, feeling stupid, for he already knows the answer. He knows that he's dead and this is afterlife. He still vaguely remembers  awakening in the middle of the forest in a shocked state. Then someone had found him and carried him here. 

"You are in our house," answers James, smiling at his son.

"Hi, Harry," Lilly sits beside Remus. "We've missed you."

"I miss you too, Mom, Dad," he whispers. 

Lilly want to hug her boy so much, but restrains herself, fearing that she will scare her boy. She smiles at her son and strokes Harry's palm affectionately. Harry flinches a little. Lilly stops the ministration abruptly.

"I am sorry," Harry says, feeling angry at himself for acting so stupid in front of his parents. He has wished for a long time to be able to meet his parents again, to have his mom and dad hug him, but now when he gets his wishes, he cannot stand even the slightest touch. 

"It's okay, Harry," Remus says, smiling reassuringly. He casts a meaningful look to Sirius, who nods almost imperceptibly.

"We better let you rest a while, okay, Harry? We'll be outside if you need us." Sirius waves toward his godson smilingly and goes out, grabbing Snape's hand on the way out. 

James touches Lilly's shoulder as he too, excuses himself. "We'll be outside too, Harry. I am sure your mom wants to prepare her famous cookies for you." 

Lilly smiles to her son. "See you."

"See you mom, dad."

*************

Harry feels puzzled of why Remus stays. He is truly grateful that there is someone with him, for he doesn't want to be alone, although the room is bright and comfortable. But why Remus? 

His former teacher seems to have ability to read his mind, because before Harry asks something, he already answers,"You must be wondering why I stay."

 "Yeah." Harry looks at Remus, who is pouring a glass of water and hands it to Harry. "Thanks." 

"Your welcome. Anyway, I am here to keep you company. I bet you don't feel like being left alone right now."

"No."

"And I want to help you."

"Help me?"

"Yes, Harry. You have had a terrible trauma."

Harry looks away. Oh God, Harry thinks, Remus knows. He bits down his lower lip which starts to tremble as the memory resurfaces. He pushes away the memory harshly, feeling ashamed for being so coward and cry-baby. His hands squeeze the sheet of the bed so hard it almost tears the fabric. 

"Harry, there is nothing to be ashamed of," Remus says patiently. Harry doesn't respond. Thinking it is too early to press the issue, Remus lets it go. "Severus is worried, you know," he says, changing the subject.

"He is?" Harry blushes a little. He knows that Sirius must have told Remus about him falling for Snape, but he feels rather shy nonetheless. 

"Yes." Remus smiles one of his Marauder-like smiles. "He likes you, you know."

"No!"

"He is," says Remus confidently.                       

 "But he already has…"

Remus raises an eyebrow. "Has what? A boyfriend? Nah, Sirius  made that up so you'd give up on Severus."

Harry stares at his glass, doesn't know what to think. He feels like strangling Sirius for lying to him, but part of him understands that Sirius meant well. Besides, having a boyfriend or no, Snape is still out of his reach. With Snape as his teacher and all, it is not possible. Well, Snape is not his teacher anymore. But Snape can't like such an "impudent brat" like Harry, can he? Apparently, according to Remus, he can.

"Don't think too much, Harry."

"Do mom and dad know?" 

"Maybe, but they won't mind."

"Really? They won't mind I fall in love with one of my *male* teachers? Snape, of all people?"

"Of course not! Besides, he's no longer your teacher." Remus winks. Harry blushes again. Oh, this is so embarrassing, the boy thinks. He empties his glass and put it on the nightstand.

"Do you still want to sleep? Or do you want to talk?" Remus asks.

Well, sleep is a lot better alternative for now, Harry thinks. It's not that he doesn't trust Remus, but the pain of the memory is still too new, too raw. And he doesn't want to keep blushing when they talk about Snape. "I want to sleep a while," he says. 

"Okay, we can talk later," says Remus. He tucks Harry in and kisses his forehead, earning a puzzled look from his best friend's son for he has never show this kind of affection before. The former werewolf merely smiles at Harry's bewildered look. "Do you want me to leave?" he asks.

"Stay, please," Harry says, unconsciously gripping Remus' hand. Realizing what he has done, Harry abruptly releases Remus' hand. 

"Then I'll take a nap on the sofa there."

Remus lie on the sofa, staring to the ceiling, weighing, thinking and considering how he can help Harry. Harry too, cannot sleep. He keeps stealing a glance at Remus, afraid that his company will be gone if he  closes his eyes. Eventually, both of them fall asleep, though neither of them enjoy peaceful rest. 

*/*/*/*/*/

**A/N:** Thanks for Pandora for beta reading. And sorry for the long delay. Thanks for those who review and put me on their favorite list. I am so flattered! *huggles all*


	3. Part 3

**A/N: A lot of thanks to Pandora for beta reading. Not much happen here, just a kind of interlude. **

**Chapter 5**

_"Crucio!"_

"No! No, please stop!"

"Harry. Harry, wake up!"

"No! Please!" 

"Harry, WAKE UP!"

Harry awakens with a start. He blinks several times and realizes that he is in Remus' arms while his former teacher rubs his back soothingly while murmuring some comforting words. Harry feels the wetness in his eyes; he has been crying. How embarrassing!

"Harry," Remus calls him gently. He looks at Harry in the eye while the boy tries to escape his penetrating gaze. "Harry," he calls again. "Look at me, please."

With great effort, Harry meets Remus eyes. Seeing the sympathy and compassion in Remus' eyes makes him want to cry again. Harry bites his lower lip down, but doesn't feel from his lip. So, he guessed that there was no physical pain whatsoever in heaven.  

"Harry, listen to me. People who are much older and supposedly stronger than you would have been broken much sooner. Hell, I might have been broken much sooner than you. It's nothing to be ashamed of."

"Um…I…I…," Harry stutters, doesn't really know how to respond. In theory, he knows that no one will laugh at him for crying, still he despises showing his weaknesses, and he is angry to himself for broken down because of Voldemort. The bastard never leaves him in peace, even in Harry's death!  

Remus hugs the boy close. "Everything will be all right," he says.

"Why?" Harry whispers, burrowing his face into Remus' chest. 

"Why what?"

"Why can't he leave me in peace? Even in my death I still remember him."

Remus tightens his hold to the boy. "You have not dealt with your pain properly, Harry. That is why it still haunts you

"Does that mean I'll keep having nightmares?"

"Dreams, including nightmares, are our mind's way to deal with problems we don't face when we are awake. I can ask for Dreamless Sleep Potion from the Guardian, but it's only a temporary solution. You'll have to deal with the pain in order to be healed. And I am here to help you with it."

"I… I am not ready. It still hurts so much."

"It's okay." Remus continues rubbing Harry's back. It feels so good. Harry leans into the touch, wondering if being hugged by Severus will feel as nice as this. He blushes a little at the thought. Oh well, maybe he'll get a chance. After all, this is heaven. He is with his family again: his mum and dad, Sirius, Remus, and Severus. Maybe death isn't so bad after all. 

**********

"Harry? Remus?" 

"Come in, Siri," Remus says. 

Sirius enters the room with a tray. "Lilly made you something, Harry. Though we don't have to eat here, you won't wanna miss your mum's cooking." He places the tray at the nightstand.

There are a bowl of chicken soup, some assorted sandwiches, and a mug of pumpkin juice. Harry's mouth starts to water.

Sirius smiles. "Just tuck in, kid." 

Harry needs no further encouragement. He tucks in. Seeing Harry's enthusiasm, Remus and Sirius exchanges an amused look. "Lilly must be delighted if she sees you eat like this," Sirius says, grabbing a chicken sandwich for himself.

"Where is mum?" asks Harry, half mumbling. He has finished the soup and now is munching the tasty sandwiches. Harry has never thought that someone could cook better than Hogwarts' house elves. Apparently, he is wrong. 

"She is baking a cake. For you, of course. I don't know where James and Snape are. James is probably showing Snape around."

"Mmm…" Even the pumpkin juice is tastier than the usual. 

"Hey, how about playing Quidditch after you eat?" Sirius asks excitedly.  

"Quidditch?" Harry asks.

"Of course! It won't be a heaven if we can't play Quidditch!"

"Sure!" Harry's face lightens up. "But where can I get a broom?" 

Sirius flicks his fingers. "Piece of cake. We can transfigure a branch. Of course, it won't be as good as your Firebolt, but it's not bad."

 "And we don't need wand to transfigure anything?"

"Nope."

 "Cool!"

"Yep."

Harry hastily finishes his food, wanting to play his favorite game as soon as possible. Perhaps he can play with his dad too! The thought banishes all previous bad memories. Having swallowed the last bit, Harry exclaims, "I'm finished."

Seeing Harry's joy, Sirius and Remus smile. Harry looks so carefree and childlike when he is excited. Silently, they promise themselves to make up for all the sufferings that Harry had endured. 

"Do you wanna join us, Remus?" asks Sirius.

"Nah, I think I better help Lilly with dinner. You guys go and enjoy yourselves."

"Okay. See you then, love." Sirius bends down and kisses his lover gently, causing Harry's breath to hitch. Their love is so palpable in such a simple kiss, it lightens the room. Harry thinks that he can *feel* the air radiates with their love. He has known that Remus and his godfather are lovers, and has seen their kisses and hugs, but he has never realized how deep their love is. At least until now. Harry wonders if he has a chance to feel such love. 

***********

The Quidditch pitch is a very large clearing in the forest with 3 Quidditch pitches at the west and east sides of the clearing. Sirius transfigures two sticks into two broomsticks and rides one. Harry takes the other one and flies. 

Bliss. Harry closes his eyes and feels the winds as he soars. He feels free and full of joy. This is what he is born for, to soar, to fly, to be free. He grins widely at Sirius who has flown beside him. 

"Like it?" asks his godfather.

"Very!" says Harry, still grinning. 

Sirius picks a Snitch from his pocket. "We will chase it at the count of three." He releases it and counts, "One…, two…, three…." 

**********

"So what do you think about this place?" James asks Snape. James has shown Snape around, starting from the mansion. Right now, they are heading toward the Quidditch pitch. 

"It is very beautiful and peaceful." Snape inhales the fresh and pleasant grassy smell. 

 "It is," James smiles. "Anyway, how does Harry manage to fall for you?"

Snape eyes James warily, afraid that the senior Potter will be angry. But there is no hatred there, no anger, just curiosity. Snape exhales. "I sincerely don't understand that either," he says. "Perhaps because I save him a lot of times."

"You save him?"

"Yes, because of my life debt to you, I saved him several times." ****

"Oh."

"And… and because I also care for him."

James raises an eyebrow. "You return his feeling?"

"Yes."

"Why?"

Snape shrugs. "I don't know." 

James picks a blade of grass and chews it absentmindedly. "Love is a strange thing, isn't it?" he chuckles. "I hardly knew why I fell in love with Lilly. I didn't even like her back then."

Snape snorts. "Of course not. You were** practically at each other's throat."**

"And you are the most patient, kind teacher to Harry, Sev?" ****

"As patient and kind as that Filch toward the students,** James. And don't call me Sev."**

James laughs. "Fine."

They walk without saying anything for a while. Finally James turns to Snape and says," Thank you for taking care of Harry, Severus."

"You're welcome," Snape says in his usual sour tone, which is caused more by a habit rather than his true mood. 

"And I give you my blessing for the two of you."

Snape doesn't respond to that. 

**********

They have reached the Quidditch pitch. Two figures are flying gracefully in the air. Sirius and Harry. Snape and James are standing silently, watching the game with mixed thought. The two Quidditch players seem oblivious to their watchers. They are completely focused on catching the Snitch. 

"Severus?" James finally breaks the silence.

"What?"

"Do you know what might happen to Harry? The Guardian only told Remus, and he must keep it secret until Harry permits him to talk."

"I…I… have some guesses."

"Tell me." James throws away the grass and sits on the grass, beckoning Snape to do the same.

"You won't want to know."  Snape sits a few inches away from James. 

"Please." James is looking at Harry, so that Snape can't see his expression, but he grips the grass beside him so hard the knuckles whiten.

"Very well. I think he must have suffered some Cruciatus before they … ah…. resorted to more Muggle ways."

 "What do you mean, Muggle ways?" James frowned.

Snape doesn't answer. 

"Severus."

"You only hurt yourself, James. What happens to Harry is *not* your fault. It not *anyone's* fault but Voldemort."

"I am not blaming myself. I am just…"

Their conversation is cut short because Harry has caught the Snitch and now lands with a huge grin on his face. "I win!" he shouts at Sirius who is still hovering in the air. He approaches his father who is looking proudly at his son.

Sirius lands besides Harry, not at all looked disappointed for losing. Instead he wears the same happy grin on his face and ruffles Harry's hair. "Potter to the core," he says. "You are just like your dad, Harry. I can't beat him on Snitch, but watch out for my Bludger." 

"Is it true, Dad?" Harry asks.

"Of course, son. You even fly better than me," James says with a smug expression on his face. His face shows no sign that he has just had a less than cheerful conversation about Harry with Snape. 

Harry beams happily again. James ruffles his son's hair. "Let's go back. I want to show you around our house and after that we will have dinner with your mum."  He smiles fondly at his son, pushing away the bad thoughts for a moment. Harry doesn't need people to pity him, James thinks.  

"Okay," Harry says. And so they head back toward the house with a lighter mood than before.   

**************

Next chapter: Harry and Severus' talk about their feeling. YAY!!


	4. Part 4

**Warning: Mushiness ahead! **

**Chapter 6**

Dinner was incredible. His mum's cooking is hundred times more delicious than the House Elves's and Harry eats until he feels sick. 

Sirius and James had laughed seeing Harry's greenish face. Lilly looked at her son with concern and ordered him to stop eating. Too bad, because the dessert was Tiramisu. Harry groaned. And everyone laughed.

Now, Harry is sitting contently on a sofa, watching his dad plays chess against Sirius who is clearly oblivious to the fact that he will be checked in few more moves. Harry smiles. Sirius certainly doesn't have a tenth of  Ron's skill. 

Ron. How he misses him. Harry sighs. Is Ron okay now? Is he still grieving? Or is he celebrating their freedom from a dark lord's clutch, forgetting Harry who has sacrificed his life to kill Voldemort? 

Harry thinks that it is better for Ron to celebrate with the rest of Wizarding World and be merry. Yet, deep down Harry wants his friends to grieve for him, to remember him, and to feel sad because Harry isn't with them anymore.

"Brooding?" Harry looks to his side and sees that Severus sits down beside him. 

Harry nods, feeling a bit loss of how to respond to nice!Snape. His former professor's attitude has changed a lot since he saw him in this afterlife. He is a lot nicer. Severus doesn't scowl, or say anything scathing.

"What have you been thinking, if I may ask?" Severus says.

"I am just wondering of how my friends are doing now," Harry replies sadly.  

"I see." 

They sit in companionable silence for a while, sipping hot chocolate Lilly has given them, and watching Sirius and James with amusement. Lilly herself has resigned to bed earlier, saying that she feels tired. Remus is nowhere to be seen. Harry wonders of where his former professor is going in this night. As if answering Harry's question, Remus enters the house not long after that. 

"Where have you been?" ask James. 

"Outside. Watching the full moon." Remus smiles. He looks so joyful. It is to be expected, Harry thinks, after spending almost his entire life fearing the full moon, now he can enjoy it without fear. Remus must be very happy to be free of his lycanthropy, but I still have my nightmares, Harry thinks. He is very tired and sleepy; it is past midnight already, but he dreads sleeping. 

James' rook smashed Sirius' last bishop to pieces. Sirius yawns. "Let's continue tomorrow," he says. 

James chuckles. "You only say that because you'll lose soon."  

"I won't," Sirius protests indignantly.

"You will," retorts James.

"I won't!"

"You will!"

"I'll win!"

"You will! No! I mean you won't!" And everyone sans Snape bursts into laughter; the former professor merely rolls his eyes at their childish behavior.

********

Harry looks around the room anxiously. His room is very big, and so is the bed. Although there are some candles and a hearth to light the room, it is still too dark for Harry's liking. And the dancing flames makes creepy shadows everywhere. Some of them look like the black robes that was usually worn by Voldemort. Harry starts to tremble.

"Harry?" A voice calls him, causing him almost falls out of bed in surprise.  

Harry looks at the already opened door and sees Sirius and Remus standing there wearing pajamas. He exhales in relief. "You frightened me," he says.

"Sorry kiddo," Sirius says. He yawns and sits on the bed besides Harry. "Move a little," he says.

"What?" Harry asks, confused. 

"Remus and I will sleep here tonight."

"Why?"

Remus smiles. "Little kids like to climb to their parents' bed when they're having nightmares. So, Siri thinks it will be a good idea if we sleep with you tonight." 

"But I am not a kid anymore," Harry says, rather indignantly, although inwardly he thanks every God in heaven that he won't have to sleep alone. 

"I know, and we're not your parents either. But we think you won't want to be alone, at least not tonight. And you're not too familiar with James and Lilly yet, so…" Remus shrugs. "We'll go if you don't want to," he adds.

"No! Don't go," Harry replies quickly. "I mean…. I mean… yeah, I think it will be nice." 

 "Yep. And tonight, we're gonna have a *lot* of fun." Sirius grins mischievously. "Pillow fight begins!" he announces and hits Harry with a pillow.

***************

Not long after they began their pillow fight, Severus opens the door to tell them to shut up because he is trying to get some sleep. Unfortunately for him, a pillow which is intended for Remus flies out from Sirius' grasp and strike Severus on the face and explodes. Luckily, Severus isn't knocked out by the "death blow".  

"Honestly, Black," Severus says in a very annoyed tone. "You're the most infantile person I've ever met." He pulls out a white feather from the corner of his mouth and sighs exasperatedly. Sirius, Remus, and Harry are laughing hysterically at the sight of the stern Potion Master clad in black pajamas with white feathers all around him. 

Sirius grabs a pillow and tosses it to Severus again. 

Who becomes so furious that he throws back the pillow to his former nemesis.

**************

Somehow four of them end up falling asleep on the large bed, in the midst of white feathers and exploded pillows, their limbs entangled to one another's. 

*************

Harry wakes up with a start. Nightmare again, though it wasn't too bad. But Harry knows that he won't be able to sleep again. Carefully, he moves Sirius' arm from his chest and slides down from the bed. 

He drinks some water and curls on the couch near the hearth, hugging his knees.  

The couch dips a little and Harry turns to see Severus sit beside him. 

"Can't sleep?" he asks softly, as not to awaken the two occupants of the bed.

Harry nods. 

"Nightmare?"

Harry nods again.

"I had one too," Severus says. 

"About what?" Harry whispers.

"Voldemort," Severus answers, not revealing that he has dreamt about *Harry's* torture in the hand of the monster and not his own gruesome experiences. "You?"

"The same," Harry says, shivering slightly.

"Was it that bad? The dream, I mean." 

"No. Not as bad as before." Harry thinks this is the most bizarre experience; talking about nightmares with Severus Snape, of all people. Severus isn't particularly nasty anymore, not since Harry's 5th year, but not nasty doesn't equal nice and thoughtful, not like this. However, Harry will not complain for this change of demeanor from his former stern teacher. 

"What did you dream tonight?" Severus probes more. 

"Well, I dreamed… I dreamed… about the time when…when Voldemort cast Avada Kedavra at Cedric… and when Malfoy was about to kill you. I wanted to stop him, but I couldn't… I couldn't…, then… Malfoy… he waved his wand. And I woke up," Harry says, not noticing two streams of tears flowing down from his eyes. 

Severus brushes the tears  away with his thumb, astonishing Harry with the tenderness of the gesture. "I am here now, aren't I?" he says. 

Harry nods again. 

Severus scoots over to his young love and wraps an arm around Harry's shoulder carefully, not wanting to invoke any terrible memories or forcing him to accept the gesture. To his immense relief and joy, Harry doesn't flinch. Instead he lies his head on Severus' shoulder while sobbing quietly. 

"Shh…," Severus whispers as kindly as he can, holding Harry with his two arms. "Everything will be fine now," he says. "I will never leave you again, Harry. Never. Never…"

Harry cries himself into sleep on Severus' shoulder. The older wizard keeps holding him tight, murmuring soothing words to his ears until Severus too fall asleep, his chin on Harry's soft  black hair. 

 (tbc)

*************

Next chapter: Harry meets the Guardian. 

A lot of thanks to Pandora for beta read this. *hugs you*

And to all readers and reviewers! *hugs all of you*


	5. Author's note, please read

Author's note: I know my grammar is awful. I am not a native speaker. And I always have my fics beta read before I posted it. I am thinking of pulling the existing chapters and re-beta it because of the bad grammar/word usage, etc, I am not even aware of. I am not mad at you who tell me this. I am grateful that you spent your time to tell me this. I will check all my fics and chapters and repost them as soon as I finish. Anyone care to beta read for me, though? 


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